Oahu...Terri and I have been here for a year and a half.  We have given our best to making our lives here useful and effective.  We have been good neighbors in time of need and have remained observant when life has made such a requirement.  We would like to come home to Colorado.  There is no need for us to remain here on this island.  It is too expensive for us, we are failing to live, and only barely surviving.

So to moderate my homesickness I draw these pictures of places in memory that I have visited while living a life outside.

Snoring dogs.  Should they be left to lie?  They are quite asleep.  There is nothing related to snoring dogs in the video recently posted by me.  I have been paddling my home made kayak at the Santa Cruz harbor as much as I have time for for the last month or two.  I feel better physically and spiritually as a result.  There is a 100mb limit to videos loaded at this site, which is ridiculously small for this modern age.  The Quicktime version of this strip was 149mb at 720p  I dropped to lesser Q and shortened by a few seconds to get a version that fit at this site.  The current rev here posted is 19mb!  

Symbiote

Christmas morning.  I have been out of bed since 3:00AM.  That is pretty normal for me these days.  I don't seem to need much sleep.  I have a combination of life anxiety, that maybe work related, fear of failure crap.  The usual.  Also I am anticipating my severance from thought, my disconnect from my anxiety, and fears, I am already prepared for all of the steps necessary to float  my soul in the soothing hands of the great pacifier that is the Pacific Ocean.  I have promised that I will participate in whatever remains of the family ritual that was our Christmas morning.  I worked hard yesterday, and staggered to bed last night at 7:30, Terri has not been well so I don't know what this morning will bring.  Perhaps only muted daylight that is normal for a rain forest December?  Once the shared coffee and a few  assurances of love between the family that is present are complete I will go to Santa Cruz, slide the kayak into the dark water of the harbor and paddle out to the surf.  Amazingly, I will think of nothing while in the boat.  The rise and fall of boat and man in the organism that is earth will permeate, or intermingle with the structure that is "Dave" Dave will acknowledge his significance as a component of earth, will acknowledge the two way diffusion that occurs between symbiote and host but will exercise no conscious thought.  None is required.

Wind

I ride my bike to the top of South Table Mountain.  

In wind, flower and grass bend and rush.  

Mask the sound of my passing. 

The sounds of human existence mute once entering hidden valley.  

Wind rush and bird song intensify.
I diminish, blend with the landscape.  

Listen.  

Wind you are my paint brush, the scribe of my mind and memory, 

portrait of my day in the land.

Some Peace

May Away I am Okay..

As always, when it snows a heavy wet snow, I go to the Red Rocks.  Morrison formation above the Hogback.  The wet white snow sags on every leaf, every blade of grass.  It makes everything quiet.  The usual Sunday tourists stay home and wish they were me.   Out in the snow.  

This image is not film.  Of course.  I have been unable to come to terms with some social things in my life so I have not been working with my wonderful film gear.  I have a very good digital camera but it does not feel good to my tripod.  I would rather use my phone than a camera that has no soul.  It is far to easy to shoot shoot shoot, when your only consequence is time.

Dave

Ebb...

I have been stymied of late, well for nearly a year.  I have had to work very hard at all day jobs that I have been lucky enough to find thus limiting my opportunities to practice my chemistry and film process development.  This image is not resultant from my process development expertise, but is a reflection of my feelings today, this snowy day, Mother's Day in May.